Food Network Canada ReBloged! OMGod I wonder if they read my blog about How douche-y Chef at home is? What eve’s I Heart Martian Picard, FNC re-blogged me and I just wrote a Haiku Quartet about a kitchen Ninja. Stay tuned.
I think I love what I do again, and shockingly enough its cause Im not doing it in a "Craptacular Shitholes" as my friend dear Shelbey so eloquently described every place Ive worked in Vancouver. I might just be able to work in a nice restaurant and survive. I owe this realization to a recent visit with a former chef and his souschef/FOHBossLady wife. When I came to them I was possibly the worst dishwasher ever, but holy shit Ive made it. Not completley of coarse but Ive made it so much farther than any one though I ever could.
I work fast, I work Clean-ish My knives are deadly and Im not going down easy. Ive been at the point lately where Im like “Fuck vancouver, Fuck cooking I want to move back east and bake” but running away from my problems isn’t the awnser. Really in all honesty Im making my own problems. Im working craptacular jobs in shit holes because if Im working in a dump than I’m not heart broken when Im not good enough. This isnt the blog I use to pour out all my daddy issues and complexes so in a nut shell: I have increadably low cooking related self esteam. When working in restaurants I’m the girl who only makes friends with fat chicks to make myself more atractive in comparison.
I really need to stop doing that. I need to grow a modestly sized ego because I think I’m terrible. I’m not and every time a chef or chef-instructor says something positive I go all dear in the head lights get embarrassed and want to start crying. I don’t know why; I probably need to see a shrink. Going back to chilliwack and talking to my old chef, standing in the dish pit that once kicked my ass on a regaler basis made me realize I can do it if I want to. There was a day when they were going to let me go and I sensed it. I think it was the silence and death glares that tipped me off, looking back at it all I would have fired myself. I marched in the back door after school to try and talk souschef/FOHBossLady into giving me another shot. She told me “your a great girl but working back of house might not be for you” Honestly if I wasn’t so inspired by how amazing that restaurant was I would have said Fuck it. and since reverse psychology works shockingly well on me I stepped my game up and took all the advice I was givin… Except the no talking thing. But I worked on it I swear… I’m pretty positive that she was actually trying to fire me but for the sake of whimsy lets just play the music that they use in every highschool-underdog-sports movie.
Bottom line is I’m the farthest thing from a “natural” when it comes to cooking, its quite the contrary. Anything Ive accomplished so far is a result of my passion and determination. I’m really glad I found it again.
My student loans and credit cards are killing me and yester day I found out when I go back to work after almost dieing they hired some one new. Guess who Im sharing my hours with! Im so broke the only food I have in my fridge are the 3 chickens ive butcherd myself to save money. The eggs I colected my self from my moms farm, lemons and shit for Mire Poix. Ive got about a cup of lentals, half a cup of chick peas and some basmati rice left. I used all my arborio making rissotto and I’m really running out of things to make soup out of. Its a dire situation. I dont have milk, I dont have tomatos and Im down to one shallot. I have some cheese and bacon but one can only eat Breakfast for dinner so long before it gets old. I have two more breakfasts or oats before life starts to suck. Milk is too rich for my blood.
However what I do have is skills, so many skills. I can make bad ass chick pea soup, I can make chicken consume but most importantly when Im too poor to buy bread I make it. I make bread, no bread maker. I use my hands. I shape the mother fuckers into baugetts. some times I make my white bread into Cinnamon buns, focaccia into Pizza and my Brioche into Coulibiac. What ever gets thrown my way if you give me flour, water and yeast. Ill be able to make a sandwich happen.
So I recently came across “Kwanza Cake”and since then Ive been fascinated by this woman named Sandra Lee. I feel like my IQ drops 4 points ever you tube clip I see. I cant stop watching her. I am an avid food network fan I quit school temporarily at 14 and “home-schooled” but really all I did for two years is watch the food network. I really don’t think Semi-Homemade airs in Canada. I’m really quite surprised its not I feel like the states owes us one… I mean really we unleashed Celine Dion and the Beibs. Like really after those two I’m surprised you haven’t declared war.
Any way I kind of started thinking about the Canadian food network stars and sure we have some real douche’s too I mean there’s this guy
His Voice is like a thousand dieing cats took up residents in my ear drums, Thats not what it sounds like but still its really anoing. My personalized version of hell is this guy reading the entire works of Robert Munche Over and Over and Over again.
I can see it now “BUT, thats not a people tail!” *Cringe*
This lady? I couldn’t find a good clip of her(?) being intolerable however I took great joy in watching her try to feed a boar.
But then theres this guy! I actually loooooovvvve him he is what Alton is to your food network. This chef was known all around canada long before his show because the man put Foie in Poutine! Fuck Yeah!
This Man ouzzes Quebecios and frankly he makes a fantastic tv host. I had a hard time finding clips of “The Wild Chef” But to my American Readers GOOGLE THIS MAN!
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